Q. My parents are getting divorced. I don’t understand why the church doesn’t allow that. My mother told me they will be getting an annulment. What will my parents’ annulment have to do with me? 

When a couple celebrates a wedding we believe that, for the permanent unbreakable bond of marriage to take place, more than just the wedding ceremony is required. It is also necessary for both parties to fully understand what marriage is and to make an unconditional commitment to marriage. They must both understand that marriage is permanent, faithful and open to children.

Furthermore, they must both be mature enough in their understanding and commitment to enter into this commitment on a very deep level. An annulment is a process in which the Church assists those who have gone through a divorce examine what actually happened. It is a process where the intention and commitment of both parties, at the time of the wedding ceremony, is looked at in the light of the ideals of marriage. Sometimes it is discovered that one or both of the individuals lacked something essential in their commitment from the very beginning. When the Church determines that something essential was missing from the commitment from the beginning, the marriage can be declared null. This means it is stated that the permanent bond of marriage never truly took place and, thus, they are still free to marry.

Lastly you ask what your parent’s annulment has to do with you. First, just from the perspective of Church law I’d say that it doesn’t affect you at all. But I know that on a personal level this may be difficult for you. If they go through with an annulment and receive one I’d simply suggest you pray about it, ask for God’s guidance and healing and continue to love your parents just as you do now. This will be difficult but often an annulment is very healing and helpful to go through once a divorce has taken place.

I hope this helps. In the end you may want to try to meet with your parish priest to talk more about your particular situation so as to gain a better understanding of this all. Divorce is very difficult but please remember that God loves you and your parents very much and wants to be there for you all during this difficult time in your lives.