The Grace of Staying

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

There are moments in life when we cannot fix anything. We cannot take away the pain, undo the mistake or make the suffering disappear. And those moments can make us feel useless. But today, at the foot of the Cross, Mary teaches us something powerful: sometimes love does not fix; sometimes love simply stays. “Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother…” Mary cannot stop the crucifixion. She cannot silence the crowd. She cannot rescue her Son. But she stays. And that may be one of the deepest forms of love.

We often think love must always do something. But anyone who has truly suffered knows that sometimes advice is the last thing you need. You need someone who will not run away. Someone who can stand beside you when there is nothing to say. Mary’s greatness at Calvary is not that she understands everything. The Gospel does not tell us that she explains the suffering or makes sense of it. She simply remains close to Jesus. There is something deeply holy about a person who can stay near suffering without trying to escape it.

And then, from the Cross, Jesus says to Mary, “Woman, behold your son,” and to the disciple, “Behold your mother.” Even while He is dying, Jesus is still giving. He gives us His Mother. This is why Catholics do not look at Mary as someone who takes us away from Christ. At Calvary, Christ Himself gives her to the beloved disciple and in that disciple, to all of us. Mary knows what it is to stand beside someone who is hurting. She knows what it is to carry sorrow without losing faith. She knows what it is to love when love hurts.

That is why the Church calls her Our Lady of Sorrows. Not because sorrow is good in itself, but because sorrow did not destroy her love. Pain did not make her bitter. Confusion did not make her leave. She stayed. And maybe that is the question for us today: Who in my life needs me to stay? Not necessarily to solve their problem. Not necessarily to give them an answer. Maybe simply to be present, to sit beside them, listen to them, pray with them, call them, visit them, or refuse to abandon them when life becomes uncomfortable.

And there is another question: Can I allow Mary to stay with me in my own suffering? Sometimes we are good at helping others, but terrible at admitting that we ourselves are hurting. Today, Jesus says to us what He said from the Cross: “Behold your mother.” Bring her your grief. Bring her what you cannot understand. Bring her the things you cannot change. Mary will always do what she did at Calvary: she will stay near the Cross, and she will stay near her Son. And if we remain with her, she will quietly teach us that suffering is never the end of the story, because beyond Good Friday, Easter is still coming.

Prayer: Mary, Mother of Sorrows, teach me how to stay when love becomes difficult. Help me not to run from the suffering of others or from the crosses in my own life. Stand beside me as you stood beside Jesus, and lead me always closer to your Son. When I cannot understand, help me to trust. When I cannot fix, help me to love. And when I am tempted to walk away, give me the grace to stay. Amen.

– Homily by Rev Fr Patrick Agbeko