Stop Negotiating with Jesus

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

In today’s Gospel, people come to Jesus and say, “I will follow you,” but then each one adds a condition. “First, let me do this.” “First, let me take care of that.” “First, let me say goodbye.” None of those things sound terrible. In fact, they sound reasonable. But Jesus responds with an urgency that almost shocks us. And maybe that is the point. Sometimes we do not reject Jesus; we simply keep postponing Him. We say, “Lord, I will follow You, but first…” And that little word, first, can become the place where discipleship quietly dies.

We often want to follow Christ, but on our terms. We want Him in our lives, but not necessarily at the centre. We will pray when we have time. We will forgive when we feel ready. We will change when things become easier. We will surrender, but maybe not this particular part of our life. And yet Jesus says, “Follow me.” Not tomorrow. Not once everything is sorted out. Not once we feel holy enough. Now. The danger is that we can spend our whole lives preparing to become disciples without ever actually becoming one.

This is where St. Jerome speaks powerfully to us. Jerome gave his life to Scripture because he wanted people to know Christ. He famously taught that ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. But Jerome was not a polished saint from the beginning. He had a strong personality, he struggled, he could be impatient, and he knew his own weaknesses. Holiness did not mean that he had everything together. It meant that he kept allowing God to take possession of more and more of his life. That is encouraging, because Jesus does not wait for us to become perfect before calling us. He calls us while we are unfinished.

And maybe the question today is not, “Do I believe in Jesus?” Most of us here would say yes. The deeper question is: Is there anything I keep placing before Him? “Lord, I will follow You, but first let me keep this resentment. First let me hold onto this habit. First let me protect this comfort. First let me stay in control.” Jesus is not being harsh in today’s Gospel. He is being clear. He knows how easily “later” becomes “never.” Every disciple eventually reaches a moment when faith stops being an idea and becomes a decision.

So perhaps today the Lord is asking us to identify one “but first” in our lives. Just one. The thing we keep putting between ourselves and complete trust in Him. We do not need to know where following Jesus will lead. The people in today’s Gospel did not know either. St. Jerome did not know everything his yes would cost him. But discipleship begins when we stop asking Jesus to fit into our plans and begin allowing our plans to fit into His. Jesus is still saying the same two words today: “Follow me.” The question is whether we will answer now, or keep asking Him to wait.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, show me the places where I keep saying, “Yes, but first…” Give me the courage to stop postponing Your call. Teach me to trust You even when I do not know where You are leading me. Through the intercession of St. Jerome, give me a deeper love for Your Word and a heart willing to follow You without conditions. Amen.

– Homily by Rev. Fr. Patrick Agbeko