Stop Keeping Score

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Today’s Gospel begins with a question that sounds familiar to every human heart. Peter comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Peter probably thought he was being generous. In Jewish tradition, forgiving someone three times was already considered admirable. So Peter doubles it and adds one. But Jesus says: “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” Then He tells the parable of the unforgiving servant: a man forgiven an impossible debt by his king, yet who immediately refuses to forgive someone who owes him a tiny amount. The story isn’t just about forgiveness; it’s about remembering who we are before God. We have all received mercy that we could never earn.

Most of us carry an invisible scoreboard in our hearts. We remember who hurt us, who disappointed us, who never apologized, and who “still owes us.” We may smile on the outside, but inside we keep updating the score. The problem is that love cannot grow where scorekeeping survives. The kingdom of God doesn’t operate like a courtroom where everyone gets exactly what they deserve. It operates like a family where mercy is stronger than justice. Jesus is not saying that pain isn’t real or that wrongdoing doesn’t matter. He is saying that if we have truly experienced God’s forgiveness, we cannot keep locking others in the prison from which Christ has already set us free.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we are asked to do because it feels unfair. And in many ways, it is. The Cross itself was unfair. Jesus, the only innocent One, carried the guilt of the guilty. Every time we forgive, we participate in that mystery. We are choosing to absorb the pain rather than pass it on. Forgiveness does not always mean forgetting, trusting immediately, or pretending nothing happened. Sometimes forgiveness is simply deciding, every day, not to let resentment have the final word. It is not a feeling that appears overnight; it is a decision we make again and again with the grace of the Holy Spirit.

Matthew ends this section by saying that Jesus “left Galilee and went to the district of Judea.” It seems like a simple transition, but it reminds us that Jesus is steadily walking toward Jerusalem and toward the Cross. His teaching on forgiveness is not just words; it is the life He is about to live. On Calvary, He will pray, “Father, forgive them.” That is our model. Every Mass begins with asking for mercy because we can only give what we first receive. Today, Jesus asks each of us a difficult question: Who am I still keeping score against? The moment we place that person before the Lord, the chains around our own hearts begin to break. Forgiveness may not change the past, but it allows God to redeem our future.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, You have forgiven me more than I will ever understand. Teach me to stop keeping score and to start loving as You love. Give me the courage to forgive those who have wounded me, even when it is difficult. Heal the places in my heart where bitterness still lives, and replace them with the freedom that comes from Your mercy. May I never forget that I am first a sinner who has been loved, forgiven, and called to do the same for others. Amen.

– Homily by Rev Fr Patrick Agbeko