Love That Costs Something

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

We hear the words of Saint Paul so often: “Love is patient, love is kind.” They are beautiful words, but because they are so familiar, we can almost stop hearing how demanding they are. Paul is not describing a feeling. He is describing a way of dying to ourselves. Love is patient when we would rather walk away. Love is kind when we have every reason to be sharp. Love does not keep a record of wrongs when part of us really wants to keep the evidence. Christian love is beautiful precisely because it costs something.

That is what makes today’s memorial of Saints Cornelius and Cyprian so powerful. Both were leaders of the early Church, and both eventually gave their lives for Christ. But their witness was not only about the moment of martyrdom. Long before they shed their blood, they had to learn how to love the Church when the Church was wounded, divided, and complicated. There were serious disagreements in those early Christian communities about what to do with people who had denied the faith under persecution and later wanted to return. It would have been easy to choose one extreme: either condemn them completely or pretend nothing had happened. Instead, the Church had to learn the harder path – the path of truth, mercy, repentance, and reconciliation.

We often say we love people, but sometimes what we really mean is: “I love them as long as they do not inconvenience me, disappoint me, disagree with me, or hurt me.” Saint Paul says, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” That does not mean allowing ourselves to be mistreated or pretending evil is good. It means that Christian love refuses to give up on another person’s capacity for grace. Love can tell the truth and still leave the door open. Love can be wounded and still refuse hatred. Love can say, “What you did was wrong,” while also saying, “Your failure does not have to be the end of your story.”

There is one line that is easy to overlook: “Love never fails.” Paul does not say that love always gets the result we want. Sometimes we love someone and they do not change. Sometimes we forgive and the relationship is never the same. Sometimes we do the right thing and still suffer for it. Cornelius and Cyprian loved Christ faithfully, and that love led them not to comfort but to martyrdom. So when Scripture says love never fails, it means that nothing given in genuine love is ever wasted in the eyes of God.

Perhaps the question today is not simply, “Do I love?” Most of us would quickly say yes. The deeper question is: What does my love cost me? Because in the end, Saint Paul says that faith, hope, and love remain, “but the greatest of these is love.”

Prayer: Lord Jesus, teach me to love when love is difficult. Free me from pride, resentment, and the need to keep score. Give me the courage of Saints Cornelius and Cyprian, so that my love may be faithful, truthful, merciful, and willing to sacrifice. When loving costs me something, remind me that this is often where I become most like You. Amen.

– Homily by Rev Fr Patrick Agbeko