Don’t Let the Wound Choose the Ending

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

There is something incredibly honest about today’s Gospel. Jesus knows that people will hurt each other. Even in the Church. Even in families. Even among people who love each other. He does not give us some ideal picture where everyone gets along perfectly. Instead, He tells us what to do when things break: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” In other words, Jesus is not interested in pretending that wounds do not exist. He is interested in what we do with them. Hurt can become resentment, resentment can become distance, and distance can become a wall. But Jesus says there is another way: reconciliation. So there are three simple things we can take from this Gospel.

First: Go directly. Jesus says, “Go to your brother.” Not, “Go and tell five other people what your brother did.” We are often very good at talking about someone and very slow to talk to them. Sometimes we call it “venting” but if we are not careful, it becomes gossip dressed up as concern. Jesus asks us to have the courage to go to the person. Not aggressively. Not to win. But because the relationship matters. Ezekiel reminds us that we have a responsibility for one another. Real love does not simply walk away when something is wrong.

Second: Speak for healing, not for victory. There is a huge difference between confronting someone because we want them to feel guilty and speaking to someone because we want the relationship to be restored. Before we speak, we should ask: What do I actually want here? Do I want peace, or do I just want to prove that I was right? St Paul says today, “Love does no evil to the neighbour.” Love does not mean avoiding difficult conversations. Sometimes love has to say, “What you did really hurt me.” Sometimes love has to correct. But Christian correction always has a purpose: not humiliation, but restoration. If my words leave the other person crushed while I walk away feeling victorious, I may have won an argument, but I have lost the Gospel.

Third: Leave room for grace. Reconciliation does not always happen immediately. You can apologise and still not be forgiven. You can forgive someone and still need boundaries. You can reach out and the other person may not be ready. And that is okay. Jesus does not ask us to control another person’s response; He asks us to keep our own heart free. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was okay. It means I refuse to let what happened control who I become.

Maybe now, there is someone whose face comes immediately to mind. Someone you avoid. Someone you have not spoken to properly in months or years. Maybe you are still waiting for them to make the first move. Perhaps Jesus is asking you today to take one small step. Go directly. Speak for healing. Leave room for grace. Reconciliation is not weakness. Sometimes it is one of the most courageous things a Christian can do. Because in the end, the question is not simply, “Who was right?” The deeper question is, “Can Christ still bring life out of what has been broken?”

Prayer: Lord Jesus, You know the wounds I carry and the relationships that are broken. Give me courage to take the first step, wisdom to speak with love, and humility to forgive without keeping score. Do not let resentment choose the ending of my story. Bring Your grace into what is broken, and make me an instrument of Your peace. Amen.

– Homily by Rev Fr Patrick Agbeko